


morceau par morceau

by eliottamoureux



Series: tumblr drabbles/prompt fills [10]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M, a cursed au in which eliott broke up w lucas :((, i literally have 22 prompts in my ask rn so it may take a while!, i might write a second part to this but idk we shall see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 15:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20391673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliottamoureux/pseuds/eliottamoureux
Summary: He can’t forget the sound of Lucas’ voice, no matter how hard he tries.It haunts him when he sleeps, it haunts him when he wakes.— What do you mean we should break up?





	morceau par morceau

**Author's Note:**

> this was a prompt fill for this ask, which i received from an anon:
> 
> _"So, I love angst. STP, can you do a make up/after a break up scene. Jealousy, possessiveness, misunderstandings, insecurity galore, etc, would be awesome. ‘Cause these boys are passionately in love, ya know? Merci."_
> 
> as with all of my prompt fills, [this was originally posted on my tumblr!](https://eliottamoureux.tumblr.com/post/185983469802/so-i-love-angst-stp-can-you-do-a-make-upafter) feel free to come and hang out with me on there, send me an ask if there's anything you'd like to see me write, etc.

He can’t forget the sound of Lucas’ voice, no matter how hard he tries.

It haunts him when he sleeps, it haunts him when he wakes.

— W_hat do you mean we should break up?_

He had been thinking about it for far too long. His brain had taken hold of his insecurities and had ran with them. _You’re not good enough for him, _it would spit out at him, _you never have been. _He tried to push the voices away, but they only grew louder, pushed back harder.

And then he had another episode. 

Stayed up for days, doing things that he barely remembers. The peak came and went, and one of the only things he remembers from the drop is Lucas holding his face, looking at him, looking _into _him. He remembers the crying, and the shaking. He remembers not being able to face Lucas as they laid in bed that night.

Then Lucas began to pick up the pieces, and that was it, for him. 

_Why does it always fall on Lucas? _Was how his self-interrogation always began. Then _you should be able to do it yourself. _Then _he has enough to worry about in the first place. _

Then _you should have never fallen apart in the first place._

Then _but you did,_

Then _and you will again,_

_and again,_

_and again and again and—_

Then _he doesn’t deserve to deal with you._

He tries not to believe it, he really does. But faking it til he makes it only goes so far, he can only try to force himself to believe something to a point.

And so he ended it.

With tears and begging from Lucas the likes of which he had never seen before. 

The scene plays and replays in his head infinitely. 

_When did you make this decision, _

and _don’t I get a say in this, _

and _please don’t leave me everyone leaves me, _

and _what the fuck do you mean it’s for my own good,_

and _I thought you were different,_

and the _please, Eliott, please._

Dozens of iterations of Lucas’ voice blend together, then, his head far too crowded to pick out one statement from the other. It’s been days and the assault on his mind hasn’t let up in the slightest. He thinks— rather than all of this hurt, all of this hollowness passing— he’ll just have to get used to it. 

If this is his life now, so be it.

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
what the fuck did you do to him

He stares down at his phone. He knows immediately that the unknown person is referring to Lucas, but he tries to play innocent.

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
who? and who is this?

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Lucas

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
He’s barely moved in days

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Hasn’t eaten

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Hasn’t slept

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
He won’t speak to any of us

The person he’s texting with has completely disregarded his second question.

_‘Any of us’? _

_… One of his roommates?_

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
The last time he was anywhere close to this was when he saw you kissing your ex at that party

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
and even that doesn’t hold a fucking candle to whatever he’s going through right now

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
He never lets shit with his parents get to him this much

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
So it has to have something to do with you

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Am I wrong?

Whoever this is knows Lucas at least fairly well, and has for a while.

_Mika?_

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
No, you’re not wrong

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
I broke up with him

He mentally prepares for the response.

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
You did what?

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
After my last episode I couldn’t deal with burdening him anymore

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
It’s just gonna keep happening, and there’s nothing I can do to control it

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
He needs to find someone better than me, someone that can control whether they hurt him or not

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Someone he doesn’t have to pick up after they fall apart, again and again

Probably-Mika is quiet for a few minutes, and the lack of vibration from his phone is jarring, after so many texts in such a short time.

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
I don’t think you realize what you’ve done 

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
** I’ve known Lucas since he moved in, not too much longer than you have. Manon and Yann have known him for much longer, so if you can’t trust me when I say this, at least trust them.  
Lucas is… not a happy person, not naturally. He’s been through some shit, you know that, his dad’s an asshole and his mother is sick. He spent so long being all alone.  
When you came into his life, it’s like something flipped. He became a totally different person, he became happy, because of you.  
He doesn’t take care of you because he has to, or because you’re a burden.

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**He’s in love with you, Eliott, that’s what love is.

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
When you’re in love with someone, taking care of them is a privilege, okay?

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**Think about it if you two were reversed. If you had a boyfriend who was bipolar, would you take care of him on his bad days? Would you complain about it? Would you see him as a burden?

Eliott thinks about it. He thinks about Lucas, and about the bad days that he has, too. He thinks of taking care of him, and how the universe seems so slide back into place when he sees Lucas smile after a bad day.

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**No

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Exactly

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**And something tells me he feels exactly the same

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
But now he’s hurting, more than he ever has before

_And it’s your fault, _he tells himself.

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**So either you need to come to your senses, or give him some closure or something

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**Because he loves you, and you broke his heart into a million fucking pieces

**MESSAGE À: NUMÉRO INCONNU**  
Can I see him

_Please, _he almost adds. _Just for a minute, just for a second._

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**That’s not up to me

**MESSAGE DE: NUMÉRO INCONNU  
**If you want to come over here I won’t stop you

He doesn’t care that it’s night time.

He doesn’t care about his responsibilities, fo all of the stuff he needs to be doing.

He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care.

He runs to him.


End file.
